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Teen depression What you need to know

Not every day, a parent imagines that his/ her teenager would be in a state of depression. Questions like what could be really stressing my young child cross a parent’s mind: – there are no bills to pay, or work stress to think about.

Teen depression is as real as any other form of depression. A study report by Blue Cross BlueShield in May 2018 depression is affecting millions of Americans and is on the rise for all age groups. The report further indicates that teen depression is rapidly on the increase. Teenagers are successfully committing suicide at an alarming rate and the issue needs a closer look.

Teenager depression is a serious condition that can affect and have a great impact to the young teens’ lives. This can affect learning, day-to-day relationships and the wellbeing of the child. If you suspect your child is depressed, you will need to seek clinical and professional help.

Some of the causes of teenage depression

Medical conditions Chronic pains and thyroid problems can lead to teenage depression.

Brain Chemistry Some experts believe that imbalances of some chemicals in our brains could cause depression.

Major life events like the death of a loved one, broken relationships, moving to a new environment or new school can be triggers of depression

It can also be genetics in some families’ depression condition runs in their genes, so if you know or have someone in your family who struggled with depression your teenager can be affected.

Some of the effective treatments for dealing with teenage depression

Psychotherapy helps the teen understand what is happening and how to cope.

Talking to a trusted and professional adult, teacher or teen counselor

Creating an environment or safe space where your teenager can feel free to share his/her feelings.

Support groups also come in handy. You will learn a lot and also know that you are not alone in this.

Still, if you feel your teenager needs help as a parent, do not hesitate to get professional help. With the right help or treatment your teenager will recover and live a happy life.

Additional tips to help you in dealing with teenage depression

Get them active and involved in the community. This gives them a sense of purpose and connect with the other teens

Help them come up with realistic goals that can boost their self-esteem once achieved and sense of accomplishment.

Encourage them to take up their most enjoyed and healthy hobbies and activities. This can help them reconnect back to their interests and feel much better about themselves.

You need to have a strong support system in case your teen needs patience and understanding.

Still, if you feel your teenager needs help as a parent, do not hesitate to get professional help.

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Life coaching in Kenya

Years back life coaching in Kenya was not as famous and acceptable as it is today. This might be because of the African culture or lack of interest. It did not make much sense how you would tell a stranger of your life problems and the stranger would help you come up with ways of dealing with the problem and more so pay for that service.

Counseling was available but it was just perceived either for the mental illnesses or much worse scenarios.

Slowly but steadily people have started comprehending the importance of having counselors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, personal development coaches, pastors, mentors, and life coaches.

It has now taken root and we even have an academic institutions that offers life coaching training. You only go to see a doctor when you are sick and at the same time you can have a doctor on call – the same is true about a life coach. The only difference is that there are times you might be sick and not know that you need a life coach or help. In our day-to-day life, we need someone to check upon us.

Life coach as a facilitator

It is said that no man is an island – you can’t solve everything out on your own even if you wanted to. It is important not to isolate yourself when you are going through hard times. The temptation to separate yourself from the world will come and can be overwhelming but try very hard to get help either from a trusted friend or one of the life coach professionals. People are in different phases in their life they can be either in a better phase or a worse phase. A talk from a different quarter can be the difference between life and death. A lot of benefits come with just having that someone who is not afraid to tell you things as they are without being judgemental.

A life coach will not tell you what to do or not to do but will walk with you in whatever phase you are in life. You are the best person that can come with a solution to your problems, you just need to be directed to focus on the solution and not the problems. The solution is within you but you need a guide or facilitator to walk along with you and that is where a life coach comes in.

You cannot be the player and the spectator at the same time; be the main player in your life and allow the life coach to be the spectator and your team coach. It is great to know that in Kenya we have grown and have qualified life coaches. Life coaching has been embraced positively and even becoming a competitive career in the nation.

Life coaching benefits

Some of the benefits of having a life coach are that they help in improving your relationships, make clear your goals, work on your career path, work on your self-awareness journey, work on your self-confidence, can be accountable for your goals, identifying your obstacles and ways to overcome the obstacles.

Before you give up on life try and talk to someone. It will surprise you how a different environment and persona can help. We share a lot about what we go through but not with professionals but with close friends or just strangers; try and get help with people who are trained and professionals.

Looking forward to hear from you.

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I just don’t understand Women

Mmmmmhhhhhh…..

What do they want? Women don’t make sense. It is hard to understand women. Do women know what they want? What is wrong with you women? Blah blah blah.

 

For all the authors and writers out there keep writing.

Having had conservations with some men at several different times and hearing such questions coming up. At times asking me directly and at times suggested to me indirectly. Just taking time to think about it as a woman I don’t understand myself either. I cannot even imagine how much more for another gender to understand us. A lot has been written about women and even we have famous materials just explaining women but they have not exhausted it. There is still more to be discovered and learn about women.

Anyway, my reason for writing this piece is just to see if I can share a few things about women that men should know. Hoping to be able to answer a few questions for the men and give them survival tactics. If you can’t beat them join them.

Men – Women are different from you very different. This means that they do not think like you or see things the way you do.

Men – women use both sides of their brains with ease compared with men. With these, it makes it easier to do some things better than men. For example good with conversations, multitasking, dealing with emotions, and good memory.

Men – women always win arguments – so allow them or go for it at your risk

Men – women make very good investigators especially if it concerns relationships.

Men – When you think you have figured her out – think again

Men – Word of wisdom – deal with one woman at a given time. When you are dealing with your mother choose another time to deal with your wife or sister

Men – Women are very powerful no matter their age so do not underestimate them. (if you have a daughter you can relate)

Men – I know you said you don’t understand women – well relax you no one does. Concentrate on just loving them.

Men – Keep a reminder of important events in her life because you will need to refer to them from time to time.

Men – Have an answer handy to some of these questions – questions like how was your day, do you love me, how are you feeling, are you ok etc (no answer is the right one)

Men – Even if she puts a tough look and a no-nonsense face just know inside her there is a girl that longs to be cuddled and loved. Focus on the girl.

Men – Women are not to be understood they are full of mysteries to keep the man busy guessing.

Men – carry your phone, a book, shades, or something that will keep you busy while she is shopping.

Men – She is always right. Always say yes then try to find out later on your own what she was talking about.

Men – never comment on how fat a woman is. Watch out for the different ways they frame these questions.

Men – always pay your bills especially if you are dealing with women.

Let us talk more.

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My con story am I an easy target

After getting in, the nissan speed off immediately. About the same time, the tout beckoned on me that the passenger door is not well closed and that I should close it tightly. He even offered to help. I tried closing the door several times but it would not close. I was so upset and some point offered to hold the door until I reach my current destination.

The guy seated next to me in the front seat said that it was not possible and suggested that I would rather sit in the other seats inside the nissan.

All of a sudden the tout and the driver in a chorus seconded the idea. So, I thought to myself rather than be seen stubborn and uncooperative let me just obey. So I reluctantly step out of the Nissan with one leg and no sooner had I step out than the Nissan speeds off leaving me feeling unbalanced. I was left standing along the road not sure what has just happened. It took me a while to come back to my senses. Suddenly another Nissan came and the driver shouted at me saying “hiyo ni choppa” as in “that is a plane”. I was not sure what that meant since clearly that looked like a nissan to me. So I bluntly asked him and he proceeded to explain to me that the Nissan is not a genuine commuter vehicle and that they carry unsuspecting passengers steal from them in the shortest time possible come up with an excuse to get them out of the vehicle then speeds off and he was trying to warn me earlier. The driver continued they sit strategically in the nissan so that at any given seat you are surrounded with three people. Two will be distracting you while the one closest to you is the one stealing from you since your attention is elsewhere. Once they are done with you they signal each other that you need to alight. They come up with excuses from the vehicle has a mechanical problem, we are not going through that route anymore to you need to change seats as it was my case. I am sure the driver educated me some more but at some point, my mind shut him off.

Easy target

The first thing that came to mind was to check whether I have my purse which has my fare back home or if not I should plead with this kind driver to get me home and the second of course was to check my phone. My fare was present but my phone MIA. Ladies and gentlemen let us just say my journey back home was very quiet and sobering. A few thoughts of I should have and shouldn’t have, could have and could have not, how could I not have seen this. Come on, you could not have been this stupid, this is Nairobi… you get the gist.
I explain the incident to my brother expecting sympathy and some moral support but he explained to me how am an easy target to the thieves. Seriously am the victim here, where do we learn not to be easy targets to the criminals. I think I missed the memo. Good night.

For some reason, I feel like writing about this incidence that happened to me recently. It is late in the evening and I am so tired from work and the only energy left on me is to find the right PSV vehicle, get the right amount of fare and the rest is history. It’s a bit late for our kind of species to be out and alone so I am told.

Finally

After maneuvering and dragging my feet I finally got to the right busstop. A few minutes in waiting a nissan matatu comes and the only thing I could hear is my destination and the fare amount. As I am about to enter a guy jumps out of the front seat without a word. In another second another guy jumps out from the inside of the Nissan. I was a bit confused but I thought either they have arrived or they do not like their current seat. So I decided to seat in the front seat which looked more spacious and comfortable. I was not alone, there was a guy in the middle and now the driver.