The day your child arrives to this world there are a lot sobering and exciting emotions. An innocent human being who depends on you for everything I mean every single thing including natural calls. As time goes by you get comfortable and resign to this as your way of life.
How well do you understand your teenager
Then “Boom” something happens when they approach their adolescence phase or teenage and they are no longer the innocent beings that would do every of your instructions and commands without questioning. As a parent you feel that you are losing your control and unprepared for the changes.
This phase can be challenging for both the teenager and the parent(s) asking questions like :-
“Where do I start from?”
“What do I do now”
Where did my cute, nice, obedient child go?
“Maybe am over reacting things will go back to normal.”
“Is it because I have not been a good parent,”
“Am I not disciplining him (her)”
“What will my friends say, Maybe I should be stricter.”
And many more go through your mind.
Well you are not alone. The teenage phase is a stage that is less understood by many including the teenager himself/herself. Apart from the physical, psychological changes there is also emotional and social changes that take place. There is mood swings, tantrums, rebellious behavior and being argumentative most of the time
All this is happening all at once and can really be overwhelming for the child and confusing for the parent. This can be well described like being in a roller coaster where it is running up and down, changes are happening in an hourly interval. Try and put yourself in their shoes and see things in their view or perspective.
As a parent remember they are still changing and growing, they are not yet adults neither are they your toddlers – it is transitioning. They do a lot of experiments and stupid mistakes. Their decision making is also not up to par though they think they know better than you. As a parent practice patience and be understanding.
More in understanding your teenager
Their need or wants changes too at intervals. So to be safe ask your teenager and work within your budget. Talk to them more often about their feelings, what future plans they have, their likes and dislikes, their best friends, best food, best movies etc. Don’t judge them instead actively listen to them, offer guidance and support.
It is in this phase that also self identity becomes an issue they are trying to find themselves in different ways. There is a lot of questions of where they came from or if current family are really their true parents or maybe they have a rich family out there that they are not aware. As the parent make sure what needs to be known is shared age appropriate.
Teenagers are very observant and they are watching and copying your behaviors. It is said that they do what you do not what you say. You have an opportunity to teach them respect responsibility and charity by being it yourself.
As a parent have a clear structure, expectations and boundaries. Communicate the same to your teenagers so that it helps them feel secure and safe and learn responsibility.